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TOGETHER MA Y – JUNE 2022
TOGETHER MAY – JUNE 2022
Meet the Author
MEET THE AUTHOR BOOK FEATURE – Gary Chapman

Fran Hill speaks to internationally acclaimed author, Gary Chapman about his life, ministry,
writing and reviews his recent book, The 5 Apology Languages

College studying anthropology, then to Baptist
Theological seminary. He attended counselling frequent Saturday marriage conferences with
Moody Publishers and has spoken in prisons
courses, realising only later how significant they and at military bases.
would become. Throughout his long education, a Dr Chapman and his wife have two children,
vision developed: to train national leaders abroad,
specifically in Nigeria. Shelley and Derek. Shelley was a compliant
child and their father wondered what all the
During Dr Chapman’s seminary years, he married fuss was about. Then they had Derek, and he
his wife, Karolyn, his spouse for over sixty years found out, learning many lessons from struggles
now; she edits all his books. They had a volatile with parenting that have given rise to some of
start, learning what happens when spouses his books.
Gary Chapman don’t understand each other’s ‘love languages’ At eighty-four years old, Dr Chapman recently
although it was twenty years before the concept
Dr Gary Chapman never dreamed he’d sell fully crystallised and made it into print. retired from his position on the church staff as
twenty million copies of The 5 Love Languages he believes that this is God’s main route for
®
in English or that it would be translated into ministry.
fifty world languages. He was simply recording We are all self-centred which Our Zoom Conversation
transformational principles he’d seen work in his is natural as it helps us to
teaching, counselling and own marriage. But the You were invited to speak at the Pentagon
New York Times bestseller – and the movement survive, and we should get – a surprise opportunity! Do you believe
it spawned – has made him famous. angry if we encounter things in always saying ‘yes’? By nature, I am a
Born in 1938 in a small North Carolina town, person who walks through open doors. There
were many doors I could not even have aspired
his happy childhood comprised study, work, that are morally wrong.
play and church. He learned valuable lessons by to open. But if it’s something I can contribute to,
observing his parents: give children structure, The vision for Nigeria never materialised. I’ll say yes. I ask God to open doors in keeping
clear expectations, regular bedtimes, and crucial Karolyn’s health led to a rejection from the with what he has in mind for me.
life skills from the get-go. In primary school, his International Board of the Southern Baptist What can older folks learn from the
favourite series of books was Silver Chief: Dog Convention. This huge disappointment took years younger generations? One big thing they
of the North, heralding a taste for adventure. to make sense. Instead, Dr Chapman worked can teach us is how to survive in a digital
Other significant childhood experiences include as a professor for several years at what is now world. I go back to when there was no
seeing his grandfather battle with alcohol and Carolina University and was an associate pastor television! Yet, here we are, on a Zoom call.
witnessing a serious motorbike accident caused at Salem Baptist Church. He and Karolyn later The younger generation were born into this
by drugs. He decided never to touch either, moved to Calvary Baptist Church where they have digital world and it’s second nature to them.
believing that a ‘healthy brain is a great asset remained for fifty years in a variety of ministry But it also means that there are influences that
in life’. roles. The past thirty have seen a focus for Dr pull them into destructive ways. Many young
Chapman on marriage and families counselling,
At seventeen, he fully committed to serving drawing on those skills gained as a younger man. people, though, are so excited about life while
Christ and began an educational journey we, as older people, think, ‘Oh, I’ve done my
stretching from 1955 until 1967. It took him Almost all his books, radio appearances and thing. I’ll just rock now!’ We could learn from
from the Moody Bible Institute in Chicago world-wide speaking ministry are based on what their enthusiasm.
training for Christian ministry to Wheaton he has learned as a counsellor. He takes part in Which of your books, apart from the ‘5 Love
Languages’ titles, means most to you?
That’s Anger: Taming a Powerful Emotion.
I didn’t have an anger problem until I got married.
It got worse when my son was a teenager!
Counselling couples for forty years has shown
me that mismanaged anger destroys marriages.
We are all self-centred which is natural as it
helps us to survive, and we should get angry if
we encounter things that are morally wrong. But
when we approach our relationships to see what
we can get out of them, it’s about selfishness.
With our children, when they are not doing what
we think they ought, it stimulates irritation inside
us. We get angry. We have to recognise it for
The Moody Bible Institute what it is and say, ‘Lord, help me!’
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